Friday, March 19, 2010

My Birthday Week!

Actually it is one day into my birthday week! March 25th is only one day less than a week away today! Its Friday already! I feel like the weeks just keep zooming by! This was a good week for me in the realm of life.
The car wash was canceled last Saturday giving Jonathan and I an opportunity to spend some QT together. Saturday night I went to watch Jonathan at the dinner theater. He wasn't in the first show so we spent that time walking around downtown Chattanooga. It was really really nice! Sunday was pretty low key, there was a baby shower at church and then we went to Erika's to play on the Wii. It was hilarious! We ended up playing some weird olympic game with characters with names like "Urbando" "Pepe" and "Rufus". It was awesome. You could figure skate, and do curling. We had lots of fun. We ended the night by watching yours mine and ours, a good weekend!
We had a lot of birthdays this week, I'm telling ya, March is an amazing month! There weren't too many other exciting things happen. I do have some news however I can't disclose it to the public quite yet. No worries. I will spill all when applicable!
As a ministry we are having to make some decisions and are going through more transition yet again so prayer for us is always appreciated. I'm not worried. As long as I am with God, whatever happens will be ok with me, no need to wig out!
Personally I did pretty well this week. Things are looking up in my personal life. Blessings that only God can give...again more specifics to come!!!
I love you all and I miss you all so much!
Brittany Gause-see you MONDAY!
Jonathan Harrell-see you TOMORROW!
and the rest of you.....I hate that we live so far apart
you are loved!

Friday, March 12, 2010

Grenades For Inhalers

Looking at the title of this blog, I just smile and shake my head.
Its Friday-blog time. I wish I had a lot to talk about but I don't really have to much. Which is ok I think. Saturday through Wednesday this week was really tough for me. Its amazing how much the right person just naturally completes you and when they are gone, it really is an odd feeling. I missed Jonathan. A lot.
Saturday we had the church car wash which ended up going very well. We are raising money for new carpet in the church and we are doing a series of three car washes, tomorrow being the last one. We have raised about 600 or so dollars just from 2 of them, and for by donation only I would say that's pretty good!
Saturday also was my friend Erikas debut at the dinner theater Jonathan works at. She recently got hired there and is doing a lot of parts, so she was in two shows and did very very well! Sunday was ok, nothing too spectacular. Jonathan got back Wednesday. He had to go home to go to court for a ticket he had received when we were visiting his parents a month or so ago....nothing criminal people, he's an amazing man, just a mis-communicaton with vehicle stuff. God had mega favor with him and what would have been really pricey and annoying charges, he is able to pay half of what he needed to and really that's all, which is AWESOME!! So yay God!
The rest of this week was pretty low key. I have been having some weird leg issues. My left hip has been bothering me a lot. Feels like a pinched nerve or pulled muscle, but it feels like its in the bone so I don't know its just annoying really!
Today, Josh Herndon came to visit. He is a guy that used to travel that we don't get to see too often. Jonathan got to hang out with him last night and today we hung out so that was fun!
Probably my most proud accomplishment this week will explain my blog title.
I have learned how to trade grenades for inhalers.
I don't do it as much anymore but there was a period of time where Jonathan and I would disagree and the way I would communicate about it would be to "throw a grenade" so to speak. Pretty much blow up and rip him a new one and leave him in my explosion dust instead of actually discussing it like normal people.
Well today I took a huge step and we had to talk about something. And that's exactly what we did. We went for a drive and we talked, forgave, resolved and moved on. It was wonderful! It was so much better to use my "inhaler" and take a few deep breaths calm down and work it out.
I traded my grenade for my inhaler.
And it was very nice!
A few prayer requests for this week:
Jonathan is about to have some changes at work which are very very good. I will explain when we actually get to that point, but prayer for favor and wisdom would be appreciated there!
We are prepping for the teams to come in soon, they will be here the 22nd-27th. This is always a hectic time for us so prayer for sanity would be awesome!
Love and miss you all!

Sunday, March 7, 2010

Strongly Obstinate

Brittany Marie.
It really is ironic how a persons name defines them.
Brittany means strong.
Marie according to most means bitter. I would agree that looking at my weakness in life I deal with a lot of heavy bitterness towards a lot of people.
However, I heard somewhere that a deeper meaning to Marie is stubborn or obstinate.
As I shake my head and laugh, I choose that my name means "Strongly Obstinate"
If we were to define that by literal definition it would read something like this:
"especially able, competent, or powerful in a specific field or respect and not easily controlled or overcome"
I look at a name that means strongly obstinate and I can agree that I am emotionally stronger than a lot of people, and I am very obstinate, sometimes in the negative aspect but I try to use it for good.
Strongly Obstinate.
Brittany Marie.
I see that and I wonder.
"Why is someone with foundation like that having such a hard time finding their place?"

Something has been on my heart a lot lately and I feel like maybe if I just write about it, that it will be less bothersome. Honestly I just have had a lot of trouble recently and even in past months with figuring out how to be me in the surroundings that I have been in. I guess maybe the best way to begin to explain this is to list the things that I am and then the things that I am not and go from there.

  • I am quiet. When it comes to talking within a group of people, I hate it. I have plenty to say, I love talking to the people that I am close with and usually those conversations are not petty and are deep. For the most part I am quiet girl.
  • I am a deep conversationalist. Which is why I think I am so quiet usually. I really don't like talking about shallow things. I love deep conversations and I feel so fulfilled after wards. Deep conversation really makes me feel loved and so connected to that person. I hate everyday shallow stuff, its just not worth it to me.
  • I am a one on one kind of girl. I absolutely love one on one time with someone. I don't even have to be extremely close to someone, if we have some one on one time, I feel even closer to them and really appreciate it.
  • I am a thinker. I think about everything! This sometimes gets me into trouble but saves me in a lot of situations as well. I think about a lot. Life, Relationships, Dreams, Failures. I am a thinker.
  • I am sensitive. Highly sensitive. Again, this sometimes is a negative but a nice positive.
  • I am an observer. I notice a lot of things that most people don't. Really I do. I thought that everyone was on the same observation level as I but I found out quickly that I really just notice a lot of tiny overlooked things.
  • I am a loner. And not in like an "aw poor baby" sense, but I don't mind being alone, I like the peace and solitude.
Now lets look at what I am not-essentially the opposite of the other list.

Not Me
  • I am not loud. I never feel the need to be heard in a group. Unless asked in order to be listened to, I am not very good at or enjoy adding to large group discussions. I don't have much of a sanguine side. Again I have a lot to say but I just don't fit the chatty Cathy mold.
  • I am not into chit chat. I really do have a hard time with it. I never know what to say, and hate what often turns into "one up" discussions. I really am uncomfortable with it for myself.
  • I am not a groupie. This is definitely one of my weakness' that seems to be tripping me up the most right now. I really hate large groups of people. I am not a people person. I used to think it was rude say that but its the truth. I know how to interact with people and social etiquette but there is a difference in that and being a social butterfly. I get very overwhelmed and have anxiety like traits when groups get to be too much. Not a fan.
  • I am not mindless. Like I said I am a major thinker, so I hate doing anything aimlessly.
  • I am not able to easily not take things personal.
  • I am not able to ignore detail.
  • I am not a social butterfly. This one was kind of covered already but really, its tough for me, I can handle it for a short period of time, but then I need to go away or go to my one on one mode and re-fuel.
Unfortunately the things that I am can be mistaken for a lack of concern and care for the people around me. Lately I just feel like I am being asked to be the things which in fact I am not. I am not sure how to meet the needs of the people that need me to be what I am not. And even further, its not even that they want what I am not, they ask for who I am yet when I try and be me, it gets corrected. Mostly because who I am looks like I don't care. And I do. Or I would have moved on a long time ago.
I just don't know how to balance it all. Trying to be someone that is not me is straining and miserable yet being me is giving off the wrong impression.
I like me, I think its cool that I am different. I am finding that out. I am just plain different. I don't think the same as most, I don't do the same as most. I am not most. And that's ok. Except when its taken wrong.
Do I just be me and throw off the judgements of those not understanding?
Do I be everything they want me to be so they are satisfied?
I hope not the latter. I have done that enough in my life.
Well I have to cut this short. Thanks for accepting me completely as I am, thats why you are reading this! Any suggestions would be helpful.

To Jonathan Harrell: I noticed that we really are polar opposites in making the lists. Thats ok with me. When you are with me, you make up for everything I lack and I for you.
Thats why we are perfect.

Thanks guys.
Love you.

Friday, March 5, 2010


For lack of creativity at the moment I opened a book and pointed to a word-hence the meaningless title. This is my first blog though. I feel kind of cool doing this and thought that it would be a great way to keep in the loop all the people that I would like to talk to on a weekly basis but just simply can't. This also is meant for those of you that I feel like would be genuinely interested in my life happenings!
My plan is to try and write one every Friday.
Jonathan is gone until Wednesday. This will be the longest we have been apart. The last time it was only four days! It's pathetic that 6 days will feel like a year, but true none the less. This week has been a rough one, mostly with work. The drama company is going through so much right now and its hard to tell if it is just because or if we are doing it to ourselves, or if it God's plan, I don't know but it is so tough! Pray for us, we need it!
Personally I am well, I will definitely dig more into my thoughts about life when I have more time!
This feels like a boring first blog but hey I have some stuff to do and writing in a hurry never works for me!
Till next week!